Père n'est pas à la maison (father is not at home)

Matsui, Saori photographer


(translation on progress)

「喪失感」( "so-shitsu-kan = sense of loss" )

"Sense of loss that you lose important things or people or events according to your value."

(from 「実用日本語表現辞典」"Jitsuyo-Nihongo-Hyogen-Jiten" = Dictionary of practical Japanese Expressions )

When I was fourteen, I started living with my father.

At that time, I addressed the incident as a simple "change".

My father"s family has been running a portrait photography studio from my grandfathers days.

Recently, 20 years after the "change", my father showed me old photographs that has been stored casually in his studio for long time, and told me about his job and memories of old days.

Next to my father talking nostalgically, I felt "loss" about him for the first time in my life.

I suppose that I realized about the existence of memories that are not engraved on me.

Not only when you lose something, you sometimes come to know your "loss" when you get something.

It was the first time I came across the experience.


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